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Deepika Padukone: The Unconventional Woman Portrait

Vishal Baradwaj once said Deepika Padukone is a combination of superstar and good actor. He described it as a rare combination that a performer is a superstar and at the same time has great acting abilities. As a superstar, Deepika can reach a larger audience and the characters she play  have more visibility and discourses around it. And as an actor, Deepika is a master of her craft enabling her to translate the heart, mind and soul of her characters. They breathe beyond the screen & sometimes even more than they do on the paper. And that is exactly why Deepika portraying the unconventional women, the ones who ditch the boxes they are pushed into, are revolutionary.

Deepika Padukone and Shakun Batra in a recent interview said that they’ve often seen ambitious women being portrayed with a negative connotation on celluloid and they wanted to change that perception with Alisha of Gehraiyaan. But honestly, Deepika Padukone has been doing that right from her second film. Even before she peaked as an actor she has been making choices where her roles charter into the uncomfortable territories. She has portrayed ambitious women with clarity and given them voice in mainstream cinema. Deepika easily transitioned the words dream and passion with ambition and drive onscreen.

In her second film, Bachna Ae Haseeno, she essayed Gayatri Jhakar, a hardcore independent woman who believes in earning her bread and living life to the fullest. She defies the norm of wanting a married life with happily-ever-after and considers it a distraction in her well planned life. While the film ultimately takes the detour to proper bollywood happy ending, diluting the character, Deepika’s choice of voicing Gayatri’s ambition in her second film is interesting.

The next time she donned the cape of an ambitious woman was in Lafangey Parindey as Pinky Palkar. Pinky, coming from the slums in Mumbai, is desperate to channel her future in a different direction. Pinky can only be described with ambition. She has the drive and works hard towards her goal. Even when struck by a tragedy, she gets ready to go back to her ambition. The film brings a knight in shining armour to help her but we are not seeing a woman wallowing in self pity who has to be ‘awakened’ again. She needs agency and she takes it when she gets it. It is one of the best female characters to come from Bollywood and Deepika who was sharpening her talent then is able to do justice to the fire in Pinky.

In the same year she did Aaliya Khan, another ambitious woman. Her intro scene begins with a bride advising a smoking Aaliya that it is injurious to women’s health. Aaliya retorts by saying she thought it was injurious to all. That one dialogue sets the tone for her character. Aaliya is unapologetically herself encouraging the people around her and beyond the screen to see her as an annoying and rigidly ambitous girl who would value her goals over relationships. A tough trope for a mainstream bollywood actress to play in a romcom. The film sees her being selfish for herself, choosing her happiness, breaking away from the relationships that stifles her. She is unreasonable at times but has it in her to rectify her decisions and apologize for taking her loved ones for granted. But she never lets go of her goals. She learns to embrace it along with the relationships in her life. A very empowering woman character and her shades come through in Deepika Padukone’s safe hands.

Two years later, came the turning point in Deepika Padukone’s career, and it was again with a flawed character who had the label of alcoholic party animal with a selfish streak to her. But Deepika who had found her tuning with her craft by then, portrayed Veronica of Cocktail with her layers of selfishness and selflessness, making Veronica one of the most endearing characters of her career. The narrative or Deepika doesn’t hide Veronica’s weaknesses and flaws. But they also convey the goodness in her, taking the character’s perception from black and white to an acceptable realm. Veronica hits the right notes with audience more than the stereotypical vanillaic Meera, and that was a major win.

In 2013, with Leela in Ramleela, she pushes the boundaries of her character once again. A woman who is clear about not wanting to rot in the ancestory of vengeance, seeks out her love & escape. She walks away with a man who killed her brother and while he is still torn over the decision, Leela is making plans for her wedding and future. The narrative could have painted Leela as a sick in love, impractical character but Deepika portrays Leela with clarity. She is today’s woman seeking out what she wants and is willing to fight for it and not care about the names she is labelled with.

In 2015, Deepika Padukone christened herself as her character Piku, in the minds of audience. Shoojit Sircar was rewriting the sugar coated bond between a parent and child with the film Piku. Piku takes care of her father diligently, most often putting his needs and desires above having her own life. But she is not the stereotypical docile loving daughter we are used to. Piku never hides her irritation, never hesitates to yell at her dad, she becomes his parent/caregiver and makes sure that it is loud and clear that this isn’t easy on her. Deepika’s co-star in the film Irrfaan Khan said in an interview, that Piku as a character was as irritable as her eccentric father on the paper. But Deepika Padukone played Piku with a depth that we see the concern behind her yelling, the care behind her actions, her love behind her exhuasting equation with her father. Piku resonated with audience in a way that the real life Pikus in our society felt seen beyond their anger tantrums.

In the same year, she played Mastani in Bajirao Mastani, who like Leela seeks out the love and life she desires. Inspired from a real life legend, Deepika portays Mastani with dignity and presented her with an authoritative agency. Even while caught in a sea of hate, Mastani is unshaken. She accepts her situations and never takes an insult lying down. She lives the life she wants unapologetically and doesn’t get bowed down by the challenges that come her way. While the centuries and situations might be different her spirit and attitude is something that resonates with today’s woman.

Five years later, she became Malti of Chhapaak onscreen. Using her stardom she highlighted a social issue, bringing it into dinner table conversations. She played the role of an acid attack survivor, inspired from the life of Laxmi Aggarwal and went through the beats of Malti’s life with dignity and strength. The narrative goes beyond the agony and trauma of Malti and focuses on resurrection of her life back to normal and her fight for a better tomorrow. It is a story about triumph and with ease Deepika as Malti made audience uncomfortable.

Going beyond the screen, as one of the producers of the film, Deepika conducted social experiments offscreen where she walked the streets in Malti’s avtar and gauged the eyeballs that come in the way of an acid attack survivor, effectively holding a mirror to the society. With an expert team, they tried to see how easily acid is bought and sold in the country conveying the gravity of the situation. With her reach she took the issue to a larger context and minor changes showed soon after the release when acid attack survivors said they felt a change in the acceptance from society. This role actually underlines Vishal Baradwaj’s statement.

This year, with Alisha Khanna from Gehraiyaan, Deepika has again proved she is not going to go by the rulebooks. She essays Alisha who commits adultery and is dealing with mental health issues owing to childhood trauma. By etching out the layers of Alisha she impacts the audience and once again gives rise to discourse around her character. She goes against the mainstream heroine expectations when Alisha sleeps with her cousin’s fiancee, discusses abortion with a practical head, enlivens panic attacks. She is again an ambitious woman who wants to rewrite her life from what that was of her mother’s and goes about it ruthlessly. She takes the plunge and faces consequences but as director Shakun Batra wanted, Alisha like other characters in the film is able to gain acceptance and understanding as a grey character. There are no justifications, no crutches to soften the edges. Alisha is a painfully honest portrayal and seeks acceptance for the way she is.

Coming to the conclusion, I would like to make it clear that this post is not made because I am a fan of this artist. I would be writing this piece for any actor who would play these roles with the same panache. It has more to do with my relief at being seen, represented in the language of cinema. Over the years and across languages I’ve seen characters that resonate with me being portrayed by credible actors. But often the narrative or the execution tends to highlight the grey in those characters without giving them a voice to be real and acceptable. Deepika Padukone as an actor has been that authentic voice I have been seeking on celluloid, that resembles and resonates with me. With her, even when the narrative tends to take the opposite direction she plays her characters with an intelligence and genuinity that they exist beyond their flaws. I am eagerly waiting to see what unveils with the remake of The Intern; hopefully the pressures of motherhood on working mothers is addressed and Deepika adds one more role to her filmography that speaks the unconventional language.

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Reel Time

Happy Valentine’s day friends. This year on the day of love, I welcome you guys to my fiction world. I’ve made a reel on my books. Scroll through them and see if you find your type of love story & ideal boyfriend/girlfriend 🤗

Journey to the Altar

Forever

Burning Hearts

Special offers going on as Valentine’s special.

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Bonus Chapter: Burning Hearts

Like I promised in the end of Kindle version of BURNING HEARTS, here is the alternate ending to it. I have to warn you, this isn’t your happily-ever-after kinda ending. If you are up for a more raw deal, read ahead.

Kindle Link

Paperback link

Burning Hearts: Alternate Ending

I still can’t believe at times that we are together. All those years ago it seemed impossible; as if we were destined to walk separately and we did go a little distance without each other. But destiny brought us back together; I hope it remains intact till the end of our lives.

But life is never constant.

Next day Pallavi woke up and went down to make coffee for both of them. She took a vessel and placed it on the burner. After a while Pranav heard her screaming his name and rushed down to check on her. Pallavi was standing in the middle of the kitchen confused and perturbed. The vessel was on the burner and the milk poured out relentlessly.

“Pallavi,” he called out for her attention turning off the gas.
“What happened? Why didn’t you turn off the gas? Didn’t you see the milk spilling?”
“I….I…forgot how to turn it off…”

Pranav stared at her. Pallavi’s face was a picture of helplessness and confusion. This had been happening from some time now. She had been facing some trouble with her memory. She forgot her dialogues in between shoot, put more sugar or salt into dishes she prepared, forget names of people, forget to comb her hair before going out, etc. Initially Pranav didn’t feel anything wrong and attributed it to stress from work. But now things were getting serious; she had angry outbursts when confronted, and at times it made her hysteric. He did not want her to get into hysteria now, so led her out of the kitchen wordlessly.

He was with Pallavi all the time, helping her out and at the same time observing her. She zoned out at times; while she was in the middle of something she suddenly stopped it and moved away not knowing what to do. She was trying hard but he could see it was slowly affecting her. Hence when they returned back home, somehow Pranav convinced her to be examined. She was angry at first, but he assured her that he just wanted her to relax and was doing it to help her. Finally, she conceded.

But what the doctor revealed changed their lives forever. Pallavi was having symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease and was diagnosed as in the initial stages of it. Pranav requested the doctor to keep her in the dark about this since he knew she won’t be able to handle this information. Considering her well being, to not cause her more stress and restlessness, doctor informed her it was the after-effects of stress and advised her to take maximum rest. Pranav started to take care of Pallavi like never before. He knew physically he may not lose her because of this disease, but he knew he could lose her mind one day. But he did not want to think about it for now. He was focusing on taking care of Pallavi in all ways he could and live maximum moments with her. He continued to do that, until one day Pallavi chanced upon her medical reports accidently.

She could not digest it. The jigsaw puzzle that her life had become was now clear to her. She was in denial first, but soon broke into hysteria. She threw everything that her hand touched and kept screaming. She was angry that Pranav did not tell her, her heart broke realizing she was going to be a liability to all those who loved her; she would forget all who were dear to her and everything that was her world until now, soon. She wanted Pranav to be free of her, free of this gruesome phase of her life, of that huge responsibility.

“You have to leave me and go, Hero. This is over, I said this is over.”
Pallavi was yelling at him while tears ran down her cheeks unchecked.
“I’m not going anywhere, Pallavi, no matter how much you scream or how many things you break.”
He was adamant and his defence mechanism had always been anger. Pallavi’s body hunched in defeat; she sat down slowly amidst the chaos crying.
“Try to understand. This, is going to eat me up slowly…in no time I would forget everything…including you…I don’t want you to stand by and watch my destruction. Leave me, Hero…leave me alone…” she sobbed into her palms.
“Pallavi…you don’t know what you are asking me to do. Just relax; we can talk about this later,” he tried to pick her up in his arms.
She allowed him to do that. He took her to their room and made her sit on the bed; she held his hand and he obliged her by kneeling beside her. She cupped his face.

“You still have a life ahead of you…You have your career waiting for you, your son, your direction dreams. You have many things to achieve yet; more heights to reach. I don’t want to be a burden on you…when you should be out there…achieving success. Don’t waste it all for me…for this life that is…about to end. Go away…live your life, Hero.”
He couldn’t help the crack in his voice though his eyes refused to moisten.
“What are you saying, Pallavi?”
“I have lived a wonderful life with you, Hero. But now…everything has changed…everything and I mean it. If we continue together, I don’t know…maybe…maybe I will hurt you each day…by forgetting everything between us, slowly. So please…please leave me alone to deal with this…..”
“Would you have left me if I was diagnosed with this illness?” She stared at him with wet eyes.
“Would you have gone ahead with your life and career leaving me behind? Would you have left me alone to deal with this phase of my life, when I need you the most?”
“Hero…”
“You will not. I know that. Then why do you think that I would? I might be the most selfish person you have seen in this world and this time too I’m being selfish. I want to be by your side always, in good health and illness. I want to grow old with you by my side and I would do anything to keep you with me. So don’t you ever compete with this selfish man; I’m going to get what I want, always”.
He hugged her fiercely. She continued to cry nonstop.

“What if I forget you one day? What if I don’t recognize you…push you away from me?”
He hugged her more tightly.
“I will come closer, each time you push me away.”

He did not dare to answer her first two questions; because both of them knew that it would happen eventually. All he could do now was hold onto her. They did not talk after that, but stayed in each other’s embrace and cried for the fate that was ahead of them. Life is never constant!


Pranav and Pallavi always had plans for travelling around the world. They took off once their existing professional commitments were done. Before Pallavi lost all threads of her memory they needed this time together; to be away from the whole world and savour beautiful moments before the ultimate sunset. They had put this off for long, for their kids and careers. But now there was nothing more important than this.


Pearl had realized Pranav was not her own father early on and it developed a distance between them. As soon as she touched teenage it got worse. But the present crisis in their lives brought them together as a unit. They became each other’s support system around Pallavi and her illness. Viren, Jasmine, Nisha and Akash stood by them as Pranav and Pallavi navigated their way around this. Pranav dealt with the situation with as much courage and patience he could muster. But Pallavi’s illness was eating into him slowly; Pallavi’s fragile memory helped her in forgetting the scars she left behind but it all became inked into Pranav’s heart affecting him for life. Pearl noticed it clearly. She could see it; anyone could see it looking into his dull eyes, the sudden greying of his hair, the weakness on his face and the loss of gusto in his walk.

Since the time Pavan was aware of Pallavi’s illness, Pavan felt differently about her. He was always neutral about her; he did not hate her, but neither could he adjust to her presence in his life. He could not adapt to it like he could with Ajith in his mother’s life. Maybe because he was too young and unprepared when Pallavi walked into his life. The way his father took care of Pallavi left him shook. He could see what she meant to his father clearly now. Slowly with time, something which was unacceptable to him became acceptable – Pallavi as his father’s wife; as a part of his family.

Pranav bore with her eccentric moods, handled her outbursts with patience and love. When she lost hope against the disease that was engulfing her, he reassured her. He did everything he could to fight their fate. With each day, Pallavi lost a bit of herself and Pranav lived with it. One day when she tried to wear a sari, she couldn’t remember how to drape it; he draped it for her. She was getting worse at handling kitchen. Mid way through preparing food she would forget how to proceed further or she would burn the food or damage the kitchen or simply forget to cook and eat on time. So Pranav slowly convinced her to let go of the reins of kitchen to maids. She would often misplace things, or brush teeth with his toothbrush, or come out after just standing in shower for a while without bathing properly. He had to be there for her, at every step and he did. Naturally their careers and life beyond this situation took backseat. Pallavi was slowly becoming a child, who needed absolute care and he diligently offered his wife that.


Pallavi now lost major share of her memory. Her mind had gone back to her childhood. She no longer recognized Pranav or Pearl. She often asked for her father and mother. Nisha was the only person she still recognized. After Pearl and Pavan left to pursue their careers, Pranav shifted with Pallavi to her hometown in Munnar. Since her memories belonged to that environment, he thought it was best for her.

She did not recognize Pranav but somehow let him take care of her. And that was a huge relief for Pranav. He no longer heard her calling his name, there was no sign of feeling in her eyes when she looked at him, and at times she angrily shouted and screamed at him asking who he was. It hurt him a lot but he coped with it. Their loved ones felt bad for Pranav more than Pallavi. Pallavi at least was unaware of what’s happening to her and still had her blissful moments. But Pranav was bearing it all with a sane mind.


It was their fifteenth wedding anniversary today. Pallavi obviously did not remember the significance of the day. Till last year, she did recognize Pranav and hence could be told about the day. But today Pranav was a stranger to her and there were no memories in her mind. Even if she didn’t remember, Pranav was determined to make this day memorable for them, as usual. He assisted her in bath and got her ready in a red sari and adorned her with all signs of a married woman. He took her to the kitchen but she was adamant about sitting in the garden. He gave in and made her sit on the swing in the garden so that he could watch her through kitchen window while he baked a cake for her. It was their anniversary routine.

Pranav did have an eye on her time to time. When he turned towards the window after placing the batter in the oven, he couldn’t see Pallavi. He rushed out calling her name but got no response in return. He panicked and ran into the house searching every room. Not finding her there he ran out of the house. Since maids were on leave owing to their anniversary there was no one else at home who could have noticed her. He ran down the lane before the house in search of her. He did ask a few people on the road and they did see Pallavi and told him the direction in which she went. He ran down the road and finally found her standing before the crossroad not knowing where to go. He ran towards her and as soon as he reached her, he hugged her. He was trembling with tears.

“Pallavi!!!!!!!!!!!!!…………..Dammit, you scared me!!!!!”

He came out of the hug and cupped her face. At first, she looked at him strangely, and then she slowly smiled and handed over the flowers that were in her hand. It was a special variety of flower found only in Munnar. Unknowingly she fulfilled their anniversary routine where she always gifted him a unique flower variety for his garden. Pranav was shook beyond his core and searched her eyes for any signs of recognition for him. There were none. She neither recognised him nor realized her actions. Her mind which was scattered with her five-year-old self could not have given her this insight; but maybe her heart did. He was deeply touched and couldn’t contain his tears.

Her heart remembers!

“You…you remembered?”
“Huh?”
“You used to gift me unique flowers for my garden on all anniversaries.”
She looked confused for a moment before shifting her focus beyond him onto something on the road. He smiled through the tears not affected by her dismissal.
“I guess, I’m still there somewhere inside you.”

His heart burst out with joy. He hugged her close to him showering butterfly kisses everywhere. It was indeed the happiest moment of his life, in years. Though Pallavi lost her mind to Alzheimer’s, she probably had a moment of clarity and in that moment, she remembered Pranav, her love. This one incident would keep him going, would keep them going. Regardless of the tragedies that befall, a love like that can only have a beautiful ending.

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My third book is now Available

Hello friends,

I’m excited to share that my third book BURNING HEARTS is now available on Amazon Kindle for ebook readers and as paperback on Notionpress and Amazon.

This feels surreal. Starting off with no clue to releasing my third book, this has been quite a journey.

Link for Paperback

Link for Kindle

BLURB:

Falling in love is easy; walking away from it, hard” – Pallavi

“A part of me comes alive with you, only with you” – Pranav 

“To know you are not loved is more painful than being alone” – Janaki 

“Sometimes love brings about our selfish side” – Pranav, Pallavi & Janaki

Burning Hearts is a realistic take on a passionate love triangle that deals with an extramarital affair. The characters are the often judged other woman, the man responsible for the mess and the wife who pays the price.