Me Too movement has been embraced and rejected equally by the Indian mass. On one hand survivors have found their voice and salvation; but on the other hand the intricate pattern of oppression and power infested in our society doesn’t allow the movement’s evolution to the full form. Agreed it’s not a movement without its flaws but what it is teaching is noteworthy. Only if we can absorb them the movement can have its right impact on us. So all who feel its giving rise to an unnecessary line of fire; sit back and reflect on what we need to infer from this movement.
First and foremost, listen with open ears and open mind. All stories may not be authentic, concrete proofs can’t be produced in majority of the cases. But the only thing we can do is listening without preconceived notions. Hear the undertones of suffering, torture, the strength and weakness that revolve around each confession. Try to be empathetic to the fact that in most of the cases reported, survivors are displaying the scars on their souls more than their bodies!
Build up solidarity against the culture of oppression in every sector of life – office, family and social circle. There are millions who will identify with each story revealed; someone would have encountered something alike or barely escaped a similar situation or is at the least not ignorant of such a thing happening around them. Create a meaningful bond with colleagues, friends, and family, so that you can be each other’s support system. It will ensure a repeat of unpleasant situations never happening again. There’ll be likeminded people to stand up and fight for your right or at the minimum is on your side without judgements. It can take us a long way.
Say goodbye to sexism. Start by not laughing to sexist jokes when your friend or colleague or relative cracks one. “Make the person who crack sexist jokes feel uncomfortable” Parvathy Thiruvoth, actress said. Let him or her realize there’s something wrong in what they said, don’t normalize it for the sake of not destroying the moment. Don’t trivialise the prevalent sexism in our daily life thinking raising an objection will result in you being ostracised or get categorised as over reacting. Do a quick recap of your words, actions or thoughts in past to check if it had sexist colouring and make sure you make amends. If it all still feels like making a hill out of a mole, reverse the experience and think how you’ll feel in an identical situation. That’ll do the trick.
Relearn to acknowledge and respect an individual. Take a quick lesson on how to be attentive to a person’s space, feelings and dignity. Then there won’t be any lines crossed or unintentional words or actions made which you won’t be proud of later.
Don’t make flippant jokes on Me Too. Understand, what gets weighed down under jokes is, the simple fact that all that is asked of you is to not be a sexual predator, to not hurt someone intentionally or unintentionally, to not make someone uncomfortable, not violate someone’s personal space, not practise barter system, ask for their body in return of work opportunities.
Relearn the concept of consent; make sure the next generation is raised with adequate education on the concept of consent. . Learn to distinguish between badly conceived ideas and reality – like stalking, a woman’s ‘no’ means yes on repeated perusal etc. Realize that these ideas that are often encouraged and glorified in films, books and other mediums are wrong.
Don’t ignore or maintain silence; that’s the biggest disservice one can do to society when such a revolutionary movement is taking shape. Never keep quiet, just because it’s not affecting your life. If a major chunk of your fellow beings are dealing with a suffocating social scenario it immediately becomes your job to recreate a conducive environment for them; to ensure that they are not alone. Don’t silence them; a questioning glare at one survivor has the power to shut up thousand others. Realize that this epidemic of sexual harassment is not limited to the survivors who spoke; it extends to our family, friends, colleagues, to ourselves since we inhabit the same atmosphere. So when you lend a hand of support, it is to help your own tomorrow.
Remember most of the masks that fell so far were the crème de la crème of sophisticated woke society. So understand that it’s sometimes even more complex for a survivor to raise their voice because forget getting the accused to hold accountability, they’ll first have to prove their own credibility. Also don’t be blind to the fact that most of the voices raised are of women. It just goes on to imply, how much harder it is for a woman in our society and how difficult it is for a man to voice a similar experience. So be gender neutral when you face this revolution. Don’t make it a man v/s woman situation, it never was. If statistics are to be believed for a smaller ratio of false allegations don’t run over the larger ratio of true sufferings. There’s a healing power in your support, don’t deny the survivors that beacon of hope.
The biggest take away from Me Too movement is how a fear is instilled in the minds of wrong doers. It is also great that everyone is pausing for a moment to cross check if they ever blurred a boundary by a message or stare or joke; it’s a welcome change. It’s a positive shift in culture that will impact our lives in the long run. Stand by the survivors and set a benchmark for a decent livelihood in future for all and sundry.
It is all about doing the right and not doing the wrong, as simple as that.
Adhiti's Musings & Books 